This article says that in American society, families are very "child-focused". Kids do what they want and they are very dependent on their parents. These researchers put cameras in the houses of some families and in one case there was a little girl and she showed a lack of dependency by asking her parents for silverware, not only that but she said "How am I supposed to cut my food?" It never occurred to her that she could get up and get her own silverware. There's another example on there of a little boy with his dad. The little boy asks his dad to untie his shoe, right after his dad takes hid shoe and hands it to him, the kid tells him to put his shoe back on and to tie it, please, as if that word means anything to him. That one bugged me. How could this kid think that he could treat his dad like that? When I was a kid, after my dad my got home from work he would sit on the couch with his feet stretched out, all tired-looking and my sister and I would run over and take his shoes off for him. We had learned that this was a service to him because he was tired when he got home from work.
The article also talks about how children in American society are more preoccupied with objects (toys), than they are with people. In my home, and my culture I guess, the women serve the men their food and the kids wait for their dad to be served his food and then they get their food. In my case my mom serves my dad his food, then my brother and when I'm waiting for my food she says "what are you waiting for? Go get your food." Ok mom, thanks a lot. But seriously thank your mom for making food or all hell will break loose. Now that I'm older I find that I am also expected to serve my dad and brother their food if mom isn't there. Which is fine because that's just a form of gratitude I think.
Parents, in this research, are at a child's beck and call but shouldn't it be the other way around? In these houses that they conducted research in they found that parents "asked" their kids to do something rather than demanded that they do it. So of course these kids think that they can say no. Ok but what really bothers me is that they did all the research in middle class home in the LA area. I don't think that they should have concentrated their research their. LA has their own culture and I can see that this research is so "LA" you know what I'm saying? I mean, if they did this research here in Idaho I doubt that they would have the same findings. And if they did this study in the South it would be so different. All kids are taught at a young age that anyone older than them, they reply with "Yes, ma'am, No ma'am. Yes, sir. No, sir." It's just different everywhere. For these researchers to concentrate their whole study on one part of the country is simply unfair to the well-mannered kids in the rest of the country. Am I right!?
This is so true. I can tell you I understand better why it is that parents let their children act like that now that I am a mommy. It all starts as soon as they are born. Even before Damian was born he was my world, I thought that my whole life revolved around him and nothing else mattered. When he was born, that's exactly what happened. He became the center of my universe. It doesn't seem bad at first because newborns depend on you for everything but if you continue to parent like as they grow it makes children grow up totally dependent on the parents and also gives them the a sense of entitlement. My friend recommended a book that helped me understand this better. Basically when a baby is born parents make them the center of the family. Everyone tends to the baby's needs and wants. This is necessary but as they grow up it is up to us as parents to show them that they are not the center of the family but instead that they are a new part of the family. I learned that you should make the baby a part of your life, your baby should not become your life. As a parent want to give your child everything but you don't realize that it actually hurts them later on in life because they will come to expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter.
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ur right. Also i do remember taking off dads shoes when he came home. It was FUN!
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